


A Very Cranky Christmas

by sg_wonderland



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Christmas, Gen, Holidays
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-02-19 15:16:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13126365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sg_wonderland/pseuds/sg_wonderland
Summary: Because SG-1 rarely does a traditional Christmas





	A Very Cranky Christmas

Jack woke to the soft snuffling of a sleeping Daniel Jackson. However, as his questing hand soon discovered, he was lying on a mattress far too soft, and cotton-covered, to be an off-world tent. His first sight, after finally convincing his eyes that opening would be a good thing, was Daniel, stretched out on a reclining chair, pillow stuffed under his head, blanket held firmly beneath his chin and glasses perched precariously on his nose.

“Okay, this is not right.” Jack realized that he was the one tethered to an IV and something pinching his finger and all the beeping was monitoring him instead of the oft-injured Daniel.

“Why?” Bleary blue eyes blinked at him.

“Because I'm supposed to be over there, Daniel, and you're supposed to be here, feeling like you'd been run over by a John Deere.”

“John Deere?” Daniel yawned as he shoved the chair into a more upright position.

“John Deere. You know, one of those tractors. And I don't mean the little one. I mean, the big ass, got an air-conditioned cabin, one.”

“Buzz the nurse and you can tell her all about your tractor fantasies.”

It seemed like only seconds before a young nurse, at least Jack assumed she was a nurse, came bouncing in. She looked about twelve and was wearing scrubs that abounded with dancing reindeer. Jack peered at his IV. “What kind of drugs you got me on, anyway? And, by the way, what the hell happened?”

“Good morning, General, Dr. Jackson. I just need to check your vitals. Dr. Pearson wants to look at your chart and if you're good, you might get to go home today. As for what happened, what do you remember?”

Jack thought. “Heading home, traffic was a bitch. Doesn't anyone know how to drive in this town?”

“Apparently not.” Daniel replied. “Your car was hit broadside by a vehicle that ran a light. Fortunately for you, your driver insists that you buckle up at all times. You got bounced around a bit, and bruised but you're pretty much okay.”

“Steve?”

“Walked away without a scratch.”

“And the other driver?'

“Well, he was in a limo so you got the worst of it.”

“A limo? I hope it wasn't the President. Although, that would be a pretty neat story.”

“Sorry. It was an attache to the Lithuanian ambassador who, by the way, sent a real nice fruit basket.”

“Damned Russians!” Jack groused.

Daniel grinned at the nurse. “Yeah, he's feeling better. And they're Lithuanian, not Russian.”

“Same damned thing.” Jack thought for a moment. “Hey, if I was buckled in and everything, what am I doing in here?”

Daniel muffled a laugh. “You...your laptop kinda became a projectile.” 

“That's why I hate technology. Too damned many things can get you killed.”

“Well, General, you're not dead. Everything looks pretty good. As soon as Dr. Pearson sees you, I'm sure she'll let you go home.”

*

Jack was disgusted that they made him ride a wheelchair downstairs where Daniel was waiting by the front door. He was efficiently off-loaded, gave a half-hearted wave at the nurse before ordering, “Home, James.”

“At least I wasn't in my truck.” Jack grumbled.

“Very lucky, you probably wouldn't have gotten out so lightly.” Daniel agreed, preparing to do battle with the traffic to Georgetown.

*

Daniel put the truck in park and started to hop out when Jack stopped him. “I can walk in by myself, I'm not really injured. I'll open the garage from the inside.” Daniel started to object but Jack was already walking, albeit slowly, to the front door of the duplex. 

The garage door finally opened and Daniel rolled the truck in. Grabbing Jack's duffle, he walked into the kitchen, where Jack was surveying the refrigerator. “What do you want for lunch?”

“Uh....um...”

“Mother Hubbard's cupboard, huh?”

“Yeah, I was going shopping but...”

Daniel sighed when he thought about fighting the traffic again. “Okay, let's make a list.”

Jack shook his head. “Got a better idea. Grocery delivery service.”

“Really?”

Jack dug his laptop out of the duffle. “Welcome to life in the big city.”

*

“I have to tell you, that was a fantastic idea.” Daniel topped up his glass of wine before slouching beside Jack on the couch. Besides the grocery delivery, they had gotten a couple of pizzas and a salad, which they had devoured for lunch.

“This isn't really the Christmas I had planned, Daniel.”

“Hmm?” Daniel straightened up to look at him.

Jack realized that even after a shower and a change of clothes, Daniel still looked exhausted. “I said, sorry that this isn't exactly what I had planned.”

“Oh,” Daniel yawned. “This is a typical SG-1 Christmas, Jack, or hadn't you realized?'

“How so?”

“Tomorrow is Christmas. We'll both sleep late, have coffee for breakfast, cobble something together for lunch. Then Sam and Teal'c will call. Sam will be asking if you're alright. Teal'c will be asking for permission to dismember the operator of the motor vehicle which inflicted such harm. You'll say no. Then he will demand to know what punishment said driver can expect. You'll tell him, then I'll have to explain that we don't imprison people for causing minor accidents. Then by sunset the two of us will either be snoring in front of the TV or fighting off an alien invasion.”

Jack toasted Daniel with his beer. “Sounds about right. To an SG-1 Christmas. Who needs any other kind?”

“Who indeed?”


End file.
